10 Signs of a Cheating Spouse

Of all the assignments a private investigator may perform, requests to investigate the possibilities of a cheating spouse, fiancé, boyfriend, or girlfriend top the list. Infidelity is a phenomenon that is as old as time and has been studied and investigated by great minds, psychologists, and laymen alike. However, it is the private investigator who has been privy to and has gained the intimate perspective of this phenomenon of infidelity, through not only study in the classic sense, but from firsthand experience by observing it happen as it happens by those involved in acts of unfaithfulness.

The tell-tale signs of cheating are displayed in various ways—some subtle, some not so subtle. Misconceptions are also propagated, such as the commonly accepted notion that men are the ones most likely to cheat on a loved one—not true. The fact is, and any private investigator worth their salt would agree, that just as many women as men cheat. The ratio is truly a 50/50 balance that stems from many reasons but mostly from an emotional need, and not necessarily a physical one.

To begin, let’s start with the three categories of cheating:

Hit-and-Run Cheating: this is your one-night stand type of cheating and may only happen once. However, this form of infidelity may happen many times over, but be a “one time only” intimate contact between two individuals that never grows into any type of formal relationship. Most cheaters in this example do it for the excitement or adventure when the conditions are just right with very little risk of being caught, but are too scared to risk it a second time and allow their cheating to become a lifestyle. Also, most hit-and-run cheating involves someone familiar like a husband’s best friend, a wife’s sister, in-law, or a long lost love from the cheater’s past and the conditions are just right for the two to be together—such as a class reunion where the spouse is not attending.
Commercial-Sex Cheating: this form of infidelity involves sex with a prostitute (male or female) and may develop into an ongoing lifestyle—especially with men because there are no relationship hassles to deal with and this form of infidelity can be kept private and discreet more easily than with the traditional affair. Commercial infidelity is predominantly a male phenomenon. This is because prostitution in general is more available for the male cheater than for the female; therefore in this case the male temptation and tendency to cheat using this tactic is dominant over the female cheater’s attempt at using this avenue of infidelity. Generally, commercial-sex is only available to women in a limited way; consequently, the only way they can be unfaithful is to risk a hit-and-run encounter (one night stand) with a stranger, or in classic female manner—get involved.
Secondary-Relationship Cheating: this form of infidelity forms a long-term extramarital relationship with one person. This is your classic mistress-type affair and generally goes on for many years with or without the victim (spouse) knowing. This is a most difficult situation that usually arises when the cheater actually falls in love with the person they are in the adulterous relationship with but also values the relationship or marriage they are currently in and, for whatever reason, is not ready or willing to give it up.

The best private investigators will tell you that every time a client believed their spouse was cheating, it was true. There are those of us private investigators that will tell you that, in our experience, there has not been a single domestic case in which the suspecting spouse was wrong. People, listen to your instincts and intuitions because they are usually correct—especially with cheating spouses.

Clients with a cheating spouse will usually experience three distinct and recognizable stages: 1. Denial, because they don’t want to believe their suspicions are true. 2. Acceptance, when the client is ready to hire a private investigator to find out the truth. 3. Anger, when proof of infidelity is acquired thereby leading them to the next stage of hiring an attorney.

People develop patterns, especially people who are married. Some of the first signs of a cheating spouse are a change in appearance and behavior. When a new relationship begins, the old pattern usually changes and that is one of the first signs of a cheater.

In order for people to cheat there has to be both opportunity and desire. They will have to find an excuse to meet. Sometimes it is the excuse of “working late” every Wednesday night and getting home around 11:30 PM, instead of 6:30 PM. Or what about the wife who has to take a shower, shave her legs, fix her makeup and hair, and wearing those high heels, “runs” to pick up a few things at Wal-Mart?

People want to look their best for new relationships (this will include the sudden appearance of new clothes—especially for women, a new haircut or style, or a new expensive item, gadget, or jewelry), and must find an opportunity to be with that person. A pattern usually develops—but iIt is a different pattern if one or both is married. That will limit the time they can be together. People who work together have many more opportunities. Work places might be the only place they can be together or can easily slip out for a “quickie.”

Now with all of the above basics in mind, let us give you a good list of the 10 signs of a cheating spouse:

1. Physical signs of cologne, lipstick, smoke, and underwear stains.
2. The wastebasket may contain crumpled paper with unknown phone numbers or little notes with penmanship of the opposite sex.
3. Odd receipts kept in unordinary places such as in a glove compartment, purse, pocket, or wallet.
4. A new key to an apartment, condo, or other undiscussed place.
5. A sudden increase of attention or affection towards the victim spouse due to the guilt that the cheater may be experiencing.
6. A cheating spouse beginning to be edgy or finding fault with their spouse in order to justify the affair. Usually happens after the affair has been going on for some time.
7. A change of attitude towards family and home with a gradual loss of attention towards activities of the family along with a loss of interest in home repairs.
8. A sudden interest to experiment with new sexual acts.
9. New or unusual bite marks or scratches on the back or buttocks.
10. Unusual cell phone activity or secrecy at night or odd hours not consistent with previous patterns. Nervous text messaging or quick reactions to suddenly being observed while texting. Also look for unusual email activity or instant messaging logs.

Surveillance will catch cheaters most of the time once a pattern is established that narrows the time frame of when to watch the cheating spouse. If followed enough, a private investigator will eventually find them with their new partner. Each case varies, however the surveillance of a cheating spouse usually takes between 10-20 hours.

Below is the form for requesting a private investigator. None of the fields are required, but you need to fill in either your phone or email address so we may contact you. In the best time to contact you field, note the time when we can discreetly contact you without conflict. ALL INQUIRIES HELD IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENCE.

Mate Check Private Investigations
Specializing in Domestic Relations Cases
Phone: 1 (480) 391-1010
Toll Free: 1 (866) 640-1010
matecheck@matecheckpi.com

License # 1003408

*Mate Check welcomes same sex and alternative lifestyle cases.

ALL INQUIRIES HELD IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENCE.